All I want for Christmas is...

...You. Just kidding! A MacBook.

 

Eh, a bit pricey.

Something more realistic? A Kindle.

Or maybe I'll go with the Nook. Or a Kobo. Gah. Who can decide?

OK, I can settle for the Parks & Recreation Season 2 DVD.

Actually, I may or may not have already bought that as an early Christmas gift to myself.

I guess I'll stick with a good old fashioned pony.

Works for me.

Dodger No More

I'd been contemplating a switcheroo and here it is: Dodging the Real World is now Live from the Real World.

Basically, I see this blog as more of an uninterrupted broadcast of my life experiences rather than an outlet for avoiding adulthood, so I believe the new name is a better fit (and a change that will hopefully lend itself to more frequent entries in the future). I'm also hoping to give the page a visual makeover soon.

In short: same crazy blogger, same zany content, slightly different name. Get ready.

 Over and out.

The Soundtrack to Your [High School] Life

Remember these relics?

Recently, a feature on NPR Music asked its readers and listeners what albums got them through their teens.

Not surprisingly, the article prompted over 500 reader responses, including albums from the Beatles, Pink Floyd and Simon & Garfunkel. I was itching to weigh in with my own answers, yet I initially found it difficult to come up with specific albums.

Intead, what came to my mind almost immediately were individual songs themselves. Being at the tail end of the "Mix CD Generation" of the early 2000s, my high school friends and I often exchanged CDs at our lockers with one another. We did this on birthdays, holidays, or on random designated days just for kicks. Our mixes were a messy mash-up of different artists, styles and genres. A punk cover of the Backstreet Boys' "I Want It That Way" followed by Jay Z's "99 Problems?" Totally normal. Pretty soon, a majority of my music collection was homemade (not including the Britney Spears and Backstreet Boys albums from my teenybopper youth).

The more diverse our creations turned out, the better. Best of all, mixes made great personal gifts, since each song was hand-chosen by its creator before being ripped to the CD-R. Such was the beginning of the decline of record stores. And as we all bought iPods and began to digitally download music straight to the source, the Mix CD Generation quickly became a thing of the past.

That being said, not all of the albums of my adolescence fell into the mix category. Many of the essential tunes from my teenage years came from the following five albums.

1. Rockin' the Suburbs (Ben Folds) - The first Ben Folds album I ever owned started a near-obsession with this piano god. It's a classic, from the popular "Annie Waits" and "Zak & Sara" to the deliciously alliterative "Losing Lisa" and "Carrying Cathy." These songs were hands down the most played on my iPod, whether I was commuting to high school on the short-lived Q "diamond" express, or trekking home again from a long day, stuck on the slow crawl of the Q local.
2. Heavier Things (John Mayer) - My memories of this album mainly involve summertime train trips out to Long Island and creating a music video in my head to the track entitled "Split Screen Sadness" (don't laugh). It was, predictably enough, envisioned split-screen style, with two almost-lovers travelling in opposite directions on two different trains. Told you not to laugh! I may have a budding career in film & video here.
3. Greatest Hits (The Pretenders) - The only Pretenders song I was familiar with before a friend burned me a copy of this CD was my karaoke favorite "I'll Stand By You." It was then that I embraced the perennial coolness of Chrissie Hynde--a rare female rock band leader of her time-- and 80s music caught me by the throat and never let me go. Call it a guilty pleasure, call me crazy, call me born in the wrong decade, but I just can't resist.
4. Gimme Fiction (Spoon) - It's hard to believe there existed a time when I wasn't listening to Spoon. At first I dismissed them as sleepy and dark, but then I fell in love with by "I Summon You" long before "Scrubs" gave the song mainstream exposure. Gimme Fiction was entrancing, and future albums proved that Spoon is a group that continues to do the impossible: they get better with age.
5. Rent Soundtrack (Original 1996 Cast) - Rent was the first musical that actually resonated with me (sorry, Little Women) and about a million other children of the new millenium. While I didn't see the show until 2005, I'd been singing along to the soundtrack years before that. Looking past those who'd seen the show at least a dozen times and knew every line by heart, Rent was edgy and gripping in its sexual openness, an openness I couldn't yet display for myself.

That's just a snippet of the full soundtrack to my teenage life. What was yours?

Absence and Return / What's in a Name?

Fill in the blank.

I'm back from flying under the radar for a while. We'll call it my summer vacation.

Actually, it was a wonderful summer overall. Did good amount of writing on my August trip out west to Berkeley, Oakland and San Francisco, three incredible places that have left permanent imprints on me. Hopefully the random bits I jotted down here and there will turn into a longer essay one of these days.

Anyway, I unintentionally ended up taking a blogger break to focus on career-related affairs. I've also been thinking about my blog URL and title. To change or not to change? The issue is that I fear that my readers' comments and some of my own posts won't be retained. Several months ago I altered my URL and noticed that all of my comments had vanished (each post re-set to 0), so in a panic I switched right back to the original URL (the comments reappeared). Has anybody out there had a similar experience on Blogger? If I were to change my URL, would my comments return to my posts soon after the switch (say, within a few hours)? Any advice or reassurance from the blog-iverse would be greatly appreciated.

My desire for a change is the need for a name that more accurately reflects the purpose of this blog. DTRW has thus far been a chunky mix of personal essays and anecdotes, cultural commentary, and my odd brand of humor. In other words, it's an everything bagel with three kinds of cream cheese slathered on it. There's no true focus. Not that I mind that lack of focus-- or the original title itself-- I'm just wondering if there's a name out there that's a better fit.

That being said, what do you think-- does a blog by any other name smell just as sweet? Or, do you judge a blog by its cover?

The Ten Commandments of the Subway

Blocketh not a car door
(unless it's 8PM on a Friday night)

Brothers and sisters of the city, you are all well aware that the New York subway system is full of sinners. Every day we encounter persons who break one or more of the precious rules making up the unspoken underground social contract. And yet, if only we all did our best to honor and obey the following set of commandments, the subway would be a better place for you and for me.

They read as follows:

I. Thou shalt not standeth in front of a turnstile fumbling for thy Metrocard or blocketh a train car door while others are waiting to enter.

II. Thou shalt enter the car quickly during rush hour; thou shalt not hinder your entrance into the car when others are behind you also seeking to enter.

III. Thou shalt not carry mountain bikes, furniture, palm trees or other outrageously large items into the car.

IV. Thou shalt not take up more than one seat on the train; thy rear end must stay contained to that seat and that seat only.

V. Thou shalt not touch your train car neighbor unless you are acquainted with him or her.
i: Thou shalt not exhibit sudden bouts of narcolepsy and rest upon your neighbor's shoulder.
ii: Thou shalt not elbow your neighbor without recognition of the occurrence.
iii: Thou shalt not spread thy legs to the point of gently straddling your neighbor.

VI. Thou shalt not sneeze, cough or expel any other bodily fluids onto thy neighbor.

VII. Thou shalt not remove any articles of clothing while in transit; thou must enter and exit car fully clothed (including footwear).

VIII. Thou shalt not raise thy voice to unmanageable decibel levels, unless thou must do so to ward off oncoming predators such as mutant pigeons.

IX. Thou shalt not carry a particularly pungent sub/hoagie/hero/whatever the hell you happen call a sandwich onto a crowded subway car and proceed to unwrap and eat it, spilling crumbs all over the floor.

X. Thou shalt not preach absurdities about God, the Apocalypse, minorities, and related topics amongst thy neighbors... for Christ's sake.

Thus spoke the gods of the underground.

For hilarious and tragic examples of the most outrageous subway sinners, visit Subway Douchery, Seat Hogs and Train Pigs at your own risk.


Which subway commandments are you a faithful follower of? Are there any that should be added to the list?